Ep 12: Hermes, Hera & Hestia - H-H-H-Heavens!

... Welcome to Episode 12. We start with everybody's friend, the winged-foot god Hermes... He's the god of fertility and guide to the underworld… the patron god of thieves and dreams.

Then we shift to the queen of the heavens, Hera, who was married to Zeus and takes the crown as the most vindictive wife in history...  and to her counterpart, Hestia, the goddess of home and hearth who chose to be nobody’s wife.

Narrated by mythologist and best-selling author, Patrick Garner,  Garner's Greek Mythology is unlike any other Greek history series.  Here these divine beings are viewed as if they were anything but mythical...

If you love these podcasts, you'll also enjoy new stories about the gods in Garner's novel Homo Divinitas, now available as an audio book on Amazon.com and Audible.com.

Join us as our adventures continue! (Musical score includes selections from Fesliyan Studios and Free Sounds Library. Many thanks to both.)

Transcript

PODCAST #12 ... HERMES, HERA&HESTIA

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IN THIS EPISODE WE'LL START WITH HERMES, & THEN MEET HERA & HESTIA ...

YOU'VE HEARD THE EXPRESSION ABOUT GOVERNMENT TAKING CARE OF YOU 'FROM THE CRADLE TO THE GRAVE'? WELL, AS YOU'LL LEARN, HERMES TOOK CARE OF PEOPLE BEFORE THE CRADLE & AFTER THE GRAVE!

HE WAS ONE OF THE 12 OLYMPIANS & WAS AMAZINGLY COMPLEX. BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING, HERMES ENSURED FERTILITY ...

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WELCOME TO EPISODE 12 OF GARNER'S GREEK MYTHOLOGY. I'M YOUR HOST, MYTHOLOGIST & BEST-SELLING AUTHOR, PATRICK GARNER. 

YOU CAN READ MORE ABOUT MY NOVELS and THIS PODCAST AT PATRICKGARNERBOOKS.COM. I'LL NOTE THAT IN MY BOOK, HOMO DIVINITAS, HERMES & HESTIA PLAY A KEY ROLE.

AS ALWAYS, THIS SERIES WILL FOCUS ON ONE THING ... GREEK GODS, OF COURSE ...

HERE THE ANCIENT GODS ARE NOT CONSIDERED IMAGINARY. HARDLY. INSTEAD, THEY, LIKE YOU, ARE HERE, NOW ...

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IN THIS EPISODE WE SING OF HERMES! ... WHAT A STRANGE & HANDSOME GOD. 

WHO WAS HE? HE'S DEPICTED IN STATUES AS A BEAUTIFUL YOUTH. THE ROMANS CALLED HIM MERCURY ... 

HIS WINGED HAT EVEN SHOWS UP ON AMERICAN COINS. CHECK OUT A PRE-1945 10-CENT PIECE. THEY'RE CALLED MERCURY DIMES ...

YOU'LL OFTEN SEE HERMES WEARING A ROUND CAP OR A HELMET WITH WINGS. SMALL WINGS POKED OUT FROM HIS SANDALS AS WELL. WE MIGHT SAY HE WAS ... SWIFT OF FOOT.

BUT THAT'S A CLEANED UP VERSION OF THE CHARMING & POWERFUL GOD WHO WAS A SON OF ZEUS ...

SOMEWHAT LIKE HEKATE, HERMES PROTECTED BOUNDARIES. BOUNDARY MARKERS CALLED HERMS WERE SET AT BORDERS. 

YOU MAY REMEMBER THAT HEKATE WAS FOUND AT CROSSROADS. HERMES PROTECTED PROPERTY LINES & PERIMETERS. 

HEKATE FLITTED BETWEEN THE WORLDS OF THE LIVING & THE DEAD, WHILE HE VISITED THE UNDERWORLD ONLY LONG ENOUGH TO LEAD THE DEAD TO THEIR AFTERLIFE. 

HE ACCOMPANIED THE OLD BOATMAN, CHARON, WHO FERRIED THE DEAD ACROSS THE RIVER STYX.

HERMES DELIVERED MESSAGES AS WELL AS THE DEAD ... WITH HIS WINGED FEET, HE CARRIED NEWS FROM GOD TO GOD ... UNSURPRISINGLY, HE WAS THE DEITY OF DIPLOMATS.

OH, THERE'S ANOTHER ASPECT OF HERMES I HAVEN'T MENTIONED. HE WAS THE PATRON GOD OF PETTY THIEVES ... THINK OF PICKPOCKETS & LOW LEVEL CRIMINALS.

AND AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, HE WAS ALSO THE GOD OF DREAMS. GREEKS OFFERED HIM THE LAST LIBATION BEFORE SLEEP.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! HE PROTECTED CATTLE AS WELL. WEIRD. AND THAT'S A WILD STORY WE'LL GET INTO SHORTLY ....

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SO WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? A GOD OF FERTILITY, THE GUARDIAN OF BORDERS, A COMPANION TO THE DEAD AS THEY MADE THEIR BRIEF CROSSING OVER THE RIVER STYX ... 

THE GOD OF DREAMS, A MESSENGER & THE PROTECTOR OF CATTLE & EVEN THIEVES ...

HOW DO THESE ELEMENTS RELATE? I THINK THEY DON'T. WE WANT LOGIC, RIGHT? ... 

LOGIC? ... THE ANCIENT GREEK GODS WOULD LAUGH AT OUR ATTEMPT TO APPLY ORDER TO CHAOS.

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YEARS AGO DURING A VISIT TO ATHENS, I WAS STARTLED TO ENCOUNTER IN AN ARCHEOLOGICAL MUSEUM WHAT ARE CALLED HERMS ...

HERMS ... HERMES ... YES, AS YOU'VE GUESSED, HERMS WERE A DEPICTION OF THE GOD. AND THEY DEPICTED HIM IN HIS ROLE AS FERTILITY GOD ...

BEFORE I DESCRIBE THEIR APPEARANCE, I SHOULD NOTE THAT THE ANCIENT GREEKS THOUGHT VERY DIFFERENTLY THAN WE DO.

YOU'RE PROBABLY NODDING YOUR HEAD, THINKING 'SURE, SURE, WHATEVER YOU SAY.' BUT IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A HERM, YOU PROBABLY AREN'T FOLLOWING ME.

LET'S USE A COUPLE EXAMPLES OF WHAT I MEAN BY THINKING DIFFERENTLY. FOR INSTANCE, ALL CONTESTANTS IN THE ORIGINAL OLYMPICS WERE NAKED — JUST IMAGINE THAT TODAY.

FOOT RACES, WRESTLING, HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT — ALL OF THESE EVENTS WERE CONDUCTED BY MEN WHO WORE NOTHING ... 

CLOTHES, YOU SEE, GOT IN THE WAY ... & HID THE BEAUTIFUL BODIES THEY CELEBRATED.

ANOTHER EXAMPLE: FOR CENTURIES, MEN WHO WERE IN THE RULING ELITE EXERCISED IN THE NUDE. THE PUBLIC GYMNASIUMS WERE FORUMS WHERE NO ONE WAS CLOTHED.

AND SIMILARLY, NUDITY WAS UNIVERSAL AT PUBLIC BATHS ... SO OUR MODESTY — & OUR LAWS ABOUT PUBLIC DECENCY — ARE A VERY MODERN THING.

NO GREEK MAN WOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD US. THEY TOOK GREAT PRIDE IN THEIR BODIES & EXERCISED DAILY SO THEY WERE ALWAYS IN FIGHTING SHAPE ... 

EMBARRASSMENT WAS ... INCONCEIVABLE. 

BUT I MENTION ALL OF THIS TO SET THE STAGE. AFTER ALL, WE WERE TALKING ABOUT HERMES. AND HERMS. AND THE FACT THAT HE WAS PRIMARILY A FERTILITY GOD ...

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LIKE THE GREEKS, THESE HERMS WERE UNIQUE. IMAGINE A 5 OR 6 FOOT TALL PILLAR THAT'S PERHAPS A FOOT & A HALF WIDE. THEY WERE MADE OF WOOD, STONE  OR BRONZE.

THE EXAMPLES I SAW WERE MARBLE, POLISHED INTO A SMOOTH SURFACE. ALTHOUGH THEY MARKED BOUNDARIES, THEY SERVED A MORE IMPORTANT PURPOSE.

AT THE TOP OF THE PILLAR WAS THE BEARDED FACE OF HERMES, ALMOST ALWAYS DEPICTED AS A MIDDLE-AGED OR OLDER MAN.

THEN, MIDWAY DOWN THE COLUMN WAS ... ANOTHER PART OF THE MALE ANATOMY. THE ANCIENT GREEKS CALLED THIS TYPE OF STATUE, ITHUPHALLOS.

REMEMBER THAT HERMS WERE A SYMBOL OF FERTILITY ... & CONSIDERED TO BE A SACRED OBJECT BY THE GREEKS. 

THEY WERE NOT PROFANE OR PORNOGRAPHIC. ON THE CONTRARY, HERMS WERE ... VENERATED.

THEY WERE REVERED BECAUSE THEY FUNCTIONED AS OBJECTS THOUGHT TO HAVE MAGIC POWERS. THE HERM ASSURED THE OCCUPANTS OF BOTH VIRILITY & FERTILITY.

THEY WEREN'T HIDDEN FROM VIEW OR LOCKED AWAY. THEY WERE HUNG PROMINENTLY ON THE OUTSIDE OF HOMES & IN PUBLIC PLACES ... 

NO FAMILY COULD RISK CHILDLESSNESS. THE HERMS WERE NOT DECORATIONS, BUT A NECESSARY ...  A FORM OF PHYSICAL & SPIRITUAL INSURANCE.

THESE DISPLAYS WERE FOUND THROUGHOUT CITIES IN GREECE ... THERE WERE ALSO LESS GRAPHIC VERSIONS OF HERMS THAT WERE PLACED AT PROPERTY CORNERS & PERIMETERS. THESE WERE SIMPLY PILES OF STONES.

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YEARS AGO WHEN I WANDERED THROUGH RUINS ON THE ISLAND OF DELOS IN THE AEGEAN, REMNANTS OF HERMS WERE EVERYWHERE... 

IN ANCIENT ATHENS THE CITY EXHIBITED THOUSANDS OF THESE OBJECTS. IN 415 B.C. 100s OF THEM WERE MUTILATED THE NIGHT BEFORE THE LAUNCH OF A MAJOR WAR EXPEDITION. 

DOOMSAYERS WARNED THE EXPEDITION WOULD FAIL. IT WAS TO BE COMMANDED BY A CHARISMATIC GENERAL NAMED ALCIBIADES, A FRIEND OF SOCRATES. 

WHAT WAS SHOCKING WAS THAT HE & HIS DRINKING BUDDIES WERE ACCUSED OF THE DESTRUCTION.

IT WAS SAID THEY'D PARTIED THE NIGHT BEFORE & HAD THEN RUN THROUGH THE CITY BEFORE DAWN, MUTILATING THE HERMS WITH CLUBS.

THE SACRILEGE WAS CONSIDERED ASTONISHING. PANIC ENSUED. YET ALCIBIADES, SAID TO HAVE A SILVER TONGUE, PREVAILED & 140 ATHENIAN SHIPS LAUNCHED FOR SICILY.

BUT THE EXPEDITION WAS A DISASTER. THE DOOMSAYERS WERE RIGHT. THOUSANDS OF MEN WERE KILLED & ALL THE SHIPS LOST. THE COST TO ATHENS WAS IMMENSE ...

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AND WHAT ABOUT ALCIBIADES? HE ESCAPED BEFORE THE BATTLE BEGAN. HE'D GOTTEN WORD THAT THE ATHENIANS HAD CALLED HIM BACK TO THE CITY TO TRY HIM FOR ... IMPIETY. 

AS HE FLED HE SHIFTED HIS ALLEGIANCE FROM ATHENS TO SPARTA, FROM HIS MOTHER CITY TO THE CITY'S HARSHEST ENEMY.

THERE HE FOUGHT FOR THE SPARTANS AGAINST ATHENS, THEN, A FEW YEARS LATER, SWITCHED SIDES AGAIN, FIGHTING FOR ATHENS. AS YOU'VE NOTICED, GREEKS SPENT A GREAT AMOUNT OF TIME AT WAR.

ALCIBIADES WAS DRIVEN SOLELY BY CUNNING & DECEIT, & SURVIVED CRISIS AFTER CRISIS BY EMPLOYING HIS SEEMINGLY IRRESISTIBLE CHARM ...

UNSCRUPULOUS TO THE END, ALCIBIADES WAS MURDERED IN HIS MID 50s IN WHAT IS NOW TURKEY BY AGENTS OF SPARTA. 

DESPITE EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY, THERE WERE ATHENIANS WHO SAID IT WASN'T THE SPARTANS, BUT THAT HERMES HAD FINALLY TRACKED HIM DOWN. 

A MERE DECADE HAD PASSED SINCE THAT BLASPHEMOUS NIGHT IN ATHENS, BUT AS YOU CAN IMAGINE, GODS NEVER FORGET ...

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AS I'VE NOTED, HERMES WAS MORE THAN A FERTILITY GOD. HE ALSO PROTECTED CATTLE. IS THERE ANY CONNECTION? NO, PROBABLY NOT.

HE WAS ASSOCIATED WITH THESE ANIMALS THROUGH AN ODD STORY THAT DATED BACK TO WHEN HE WAS A MERE BABY.

REMEMBER I MENTIONED THAT HE WAS THE PATRON GOD OF THIEVES? WELL, CATTLE, THIEVERY — BABY HERMES PUT THESE TWO IDEAS TOGETHER ONE NIGHT AS HE LAY IN HIS CRADLE.

HE'D HEARD FROM HIS MOTHER THAT APOLLO KEPT GOLDEN CATTLE IN A DISTANT PASTURE ... WHILE SHE SLEPT, HE SLIPPED AWAY TO SEE FOR HIMSELF.

WITH HIS WINGED FEET HE WAS ABLE TO FIND APOLLO'S GOLDEN COWS WITH LITTLE EFFORT ... DELIGHTING IN HIS INGENUITY, HE STOLE 50 OF THEM.

THE NEXT DAY APOLLO DISCOVERED THE THEFT. HE TRACKED DOWN THE THIEF, CONFRONTING THE BABY LYING INNOCENTLY IN HIS SWADDLING CLOTHES.

BABY HERMES SWORE HE KNEW NOTHING OF THE THEFT ... YOU SEE, ALREADY, HE WAS A CONSUMMATE LIAR .... & ALL OF THIS AT AN AGE WHEN HUMAN BABIES CAN'T EVEN TALK!

FURIOUS & IN DISBELIEF, APOLLO DRAGGED HERMES UP TO OLYMPUS & REPORTED THE TRICKERY TO ZEUS.

IN SHORT ORDER — & UNABLE TO LIE TO ZEUS — HERMES CONFESSED & AGREED TO LEAD APOLLO TO WHERE HE'D HIDDEN THE CATTLE.

AND TO AVOID FURTHER PUNISHMENT, HERMES AGREED TO BECOME THE PROTECTOR OF COWS, WHICH SATISFIED BOTH ZEUS & APOLLO ...

BUT IN HIS HEART, HERMES LOVED THE EXCITEMENT OF BEING A THIEF ... IN TIME HIS SYMPATHY GREW FOR ALL SORTS OF PETTY THIEVES ... 

AND SO HE BECAME NOT ONLY THE PROTECTOR OF CATTLE, BUT OF PICKPOCKETS & COMMON CRIMINALS ...

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BUT I HAVEN'T DISCUSSED HIS BACKGROUND ... LIKE SO MANY OF THE OLYMPIANS, HERMES WAS THE SON OF ZEUS. HIS MOTHER WAS ONE OF 7 DAUGHTERS OF ATLAS, A TITAN ... 

HER RENDEZVOUS WITH ZEUS WAS HARDLY A LOVE AFFAIR. AS WITH SO MANY OF ZEUS' CONQUESTS, HE SAW HER & 'HAD HIS WAY' WITH HER.

THE RESULTING PREGNANCY LED TO THE BIRTH OF HERMES ... LITTLE MORE IS KNOWN OF HER EXCEPT THAT AT SOME POINT ZEUS TURNED ALL 7 DAUGHTERS OF ATLAS INTO STARS. 

WE KNOW THEM AS THE PLEIADES, A CONSTELLATION 440 LIGHT-YEARS FROM OUR SOLAR SYSTEM.

SUCH WAS ZEUS' REACH & HIS CALLOUSNESS ... 

AND DID HERMES GRIEVE AT HIS MOTHER'S TRANSFORMATION? HISTORY IS SILENT, SO WE'LL ASSUME HE DID ...

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I'VE MENTIONED THAT HERMES ACCOMPANIED THE DEAD TO THE UNDERWORLD.

PERHAPS THIS DARK ASPECT OF HERMES EXPLAINS HOW HE ALSO BECAME THE GOD OF DREAMS. GREEKS WOULD RAISE A CUP & TOAST HIM BEFORE SLEEP, HOPING TO AVOID NIGHTMARES.

A QUICK SWALLOW OF SOME REFRESHMENT WOULD SUFFICE. THE KEY WAS TO GRACIOUSLY SALUTE THE GOD OF DREAMS, PRAYING FOR ... PEACEFUL DEEP SLEEP ...

... IN OUR LAST EPISODE WE SPOKE OF ARES, & HOW HE WAS UNCOMPLICATED ... HERMES, ON THE OTHER HAND, WAS LIKE AN ACTOR, CONSTANTLY SHIFTING ROLES.

HE WAS WILDLY COMPLEX. AND QUITE UNLIKE THE TWO GODDESSES WE'LL DISCUSS NEXT ... 

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HERA ... SHE WAS ONE OF THE OLYMPIC GODDESSES & ZEUS' SISTER. SHE WAS ALSO ZEUS' 7th WIFE. SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL & PROUD OF HER BEAUTY.

IN HER OWN EYES, ALL OTHER WOMEN WERE COMPETITION. IT WAS SIMPLE: SHE WANTED ZEUS FOR HERSELF ... WHICH ZEUS ROUNDLY REJECTED.

HE WAS KING OF THE GODS & WOULD DO AS HE WISHED. CONSEQUENTLY, HERA BECAME INFAMOUS FOR HER UNBRIDLED JEALOUSY.

AS WE'VE SEEN IN MANY OF THE PREVIOUS EPISODES, ZEUS WAS CONSTANTLY ON THE PROWL... AND HERA SEEMINGLY LIVED TO PUNISH THE POOR GIRLS WHO WERE HIS VICTIMS.

AS QUEEN OF OLYMPUS SHE CONCEIVED SIX CHILDREN ... ALMOST ALL WERE TROUBLED IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. TWO OF THE MOST FAMOUS WERE ARES & HEPHAISTOS.

WE'LL INCLUDE HEPHAISTOS IN OUR NEXT EPISODE. I CALL HIM THE 'LEONARDO OF HIS TIME,' BECAUSE, LIKE THE ARTIST LEONARDO DA VINCI, HE WAS A MASTER OF ALL HE DID.

YOU CAN ALSO MEET HIM IN MY NOVEL, HOMO DIVINITAS ... BUT HERA HERSELF? SHE'S LARGELY REMEMBERED FOR HER UNFORGIVING VINDICTIVENESS ...

THE ROMANS RENAMED HER JUNO, WHICH IS LATIN FOR 'QUEEN OF THE HEAVENS.' IN HER NEW INCARNATION, SHE BECAME, IRONICALLY ENOUGH, THE GODDESS OF MARRIAGE.

HERA, NOW JUNO, SAW HER JEALOUS EDGES SOFTENED & HER SPITEFULNESS TURNED INTO AN UNEXPECTED PLEASANTNESS ...

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AND OUR FINAL GODDESS IN THIS EPISODE? HESTIA ... SHE WAS THE DIVINITY OF THE HEARTH, THE KEEPER OF THE SACRED FIRE AT THE CENTER OF EVERY HOME.

HER NEPHEW WAS APOLLO & HER BROTHER, POSEIDON ... I SUPPOSE WE SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED THAT BOTH TRIED TO WOO HER.

THE GODS WERE ALWAYS GETTING INVOLVED WITH EACH OTHER AS WELL AS WITH MORTALS.  BUT IN HER CASE, THEY FAILED. 

HESTIA UTTERLY REJECTED THEM. INSTEAD, SHE TOOK VOWS OF CHASTITY, JOINING ARTEMIS & ATHENE IN SPURNING LOVE. 

THE GREEK POET HOMER CELEBRATED HER IN ONE OF HIS HYMNS, WRITING,

"HESTIA, YOU HAVE WON THE GREATEST OF HONORS IN THE DWELLINGS OF ALL, BOTH GOD & MEN ... TO YOU, THE SWEET WINE IS POURED BOTH FIRST & LAST."

IN MY BOOKS CYCLADIC GIRLS &  HOMO DIVINITAS, HESTIA IS INVOLVED IN ONE OF THE MOST INCREDIBLE LOVE STORIES OF ALL TIMES ...

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IN OUR NEXT EPISODE WE HANG OUT WITH HERA'S SON, HEPHAISTOS ...

IN ADDITION TO BEING MARRIED TO APHRODITE, HE CREATED ENDLESS TREASURES FOR THE OTHER DIVINITIES.

HIS INNOVATIONS INCLUDED GOLDEN ROBOTS, GLORIOUS NECKLACES & IMPENETRABLE SHIELDS USED BY GREAT WARRIORS SUCH AS ACHILLES ...

JOIN ME ... FOR THE NEXT EPISODE OF GARNER'S GREEK MYTHOLOGY. THIS IS YOUR HOST, PATRICK GARNER ...

Thanks for listening... And be sure to visit Patrick-Garner-Books-dot-com or find me on Amazon ...