EP 64: Artemis & the Ouija Board

Engaging one night with an old Ouija board, podcaster Patrick Garner conjures up the ancient goddess Artemis. Over the course of many hours, the goddess remembers Athena, Poseidon, Hecate, her brother Apollo and other divinities. The episode is largely narrated by a new voice, Lily, an urbane English woman who has long been enthralled by mythology.

Transcript

PODCAST #64: A Night with Artemis and the Ouija Board

Welcome to episode 64 of GARNER'S GREEK MYTHOLOGY. We have listeners in 190 countries ... So welcome to everyone, wherever you are.

I'm your host, mythologist PATRICK GARNER. Remember to visit AMAZON to check out my books about the GREEK GODS in the contemporary world. 

They’re part of THE NAXOS QUARTET, and include THE WINNOWING, CYCLADIC GIRLS, HOMO DIVINITAS and ALL THAT LASTS.

These novels have been Amazon best sellers and are a provocative read. Book sales also keep this podcast going.

So who are the characters in these books? Your favorite GREEK GODS, of course ... 

As an aside, HOMO DIVINITAS is available on Amazon as an audio book. I’m the narrator.

For more information, visit PATRICK GARNER BOOKS DOT COM. The website is packed with background about the Greek gods, my books and this podcast. 

I’ve just added a section on how you can listen to the audio version of CYCLADIC GIRLS at no cost.

Now, let’s get to the episode. The voice you’ll hear is Lily, who narrates the story.

…

In the heart of contemporary New England, a man named Garner lives with his wife in an old farm house. 

Garner is the creator of GARNER’S GREEK MYTHOLOGY, a podcast with tales of the ancient gods from the viewpoint that they are anything but mythological.

The kitchen in the couple’s house includes an old wooden Ouija board that hangs on a wall. 

Ouija boards were popular in the late 19th and early 20th century for seances and parlor games. 

The board has the words YES  and NO at the top, the letters of the alphabet in the middle, followed by numerals, and the word GOODBYE at the bottom. 

The way a Ouija board works is this: Two people sit across from each other, knees touching, and ask the board questions. 

To get an answer, they lightly touch a planchette—a pointer—to indicate YES or NO, or to spell words or give numbers. 

Garner’s Ouija board was displayed as art across from the massive brick fireplace originally used for heating and cooking. Little did he know the Ouija board was a portal into ancient history.

As it so happened, he was rereading James Merrill’s book The Light at Sandover about Merrill’s Ouija board experiences. 

Inevitably, he thought of his own Ouija board and how he had never treated it as anything more than a wall hanging.

On a whim one chilly evening, with the fire in the fireplace casting long shadows across the walls, he suggested to his wife that they use their Ouija board the way it was intended. 

She hesitated, but then agreed. Because they did not have a planchette, they substituted an upside-down tea cup, using the handle to point to the answer.

Some think that a Ouija board is fueled by the bioelectric energy of the two participants who, by touching, become exponentially strong enough to access other dimensions. 

Garner hardly believed this old fascination with the paranormal. Yet one of his favorite authors had composed lengthy, believable poems about his experiences with an Ouija board. 

Further, Garner—as a mythologist—could not resist the possibility that he could communicate with an ancient Olympic god.

Touching the tea cup on opposite sides with their fingertips, the couple began their Ouija board session. 

Garner, with a mix of skepticism and excitement, asked, "Is anyone here?" Slowly, the tea cup began to move.

It pointed at YES, one of the words on the board. 

Garner whispered, “WHO is here?”

The cup spelled out a name: A-R-T-E-M-I-S.    Artemis.

“What??” 

Garner’s wife was quick to catch on. “I think we’ve conjured a goddess from one of your podcasts.”

Garner shook his head, saying, “No.” The teacup moved again, its handle again pointing on the board to the word YES.

The air in the room seemed to thicken with the presence of the divine. It seemed impossible, but clearly Artemis, the Greek goddess of the hunt, wilderness, childbirth, and virginity, was speaking to them.

Garner looked perplexed. He had always favored this mysterious goddess, dedicating an earlier podcast to her and drawing on her presence to write the novels he called THE NAXOS QUARTET.

Now, if the Ouija Board was to be believed, she was communicating with them. Why had she come? What would she say? What would she reveal? 

Perhaps she had come to correct some of his errors, or to admonish him for profiting from her stories without her permission!

As the tea cup planchette began to move rapidly from letter to letter, spelling out words. Garner’s wife quickly transcribed them to paper. The hours unfolded like the petals of a night-blooming flower as Artemis shared her life, her memories, her very essence.

...

Artemis began with tales of her birth, how she and her twin brother Apollo were born on the island of Delos to their mother Leto, who was pursued by a wrathful Hera. 

Zeus, their father, had other children, whom Artemis knew well. She spoke of Athena, wise and fierce; Aphrodite, with her love and beauty; Ares, embodying war; Hermes, the trickster and messenger; and Poseidon, the long-bearded ruler of the seas. 

Artemis's voice through her written words was filled with warmth as she described her companions, the nymphs who ran by her side through the forests, their laughter filling the air like bird song.

She told of her love for the wilderness, her protection of women in childbirth, and her peculiar fondness for bears. 

The tea cup shook with her laughter as she admitted to dressing young girls in bear masks for fun, a playful side of her that Garner, she emphasized, had neglected in an earlier podcast.

Amazed at this observation, Garner asked, “You listen to my podcasts?” The tea cup handle pointed to the YES on the board.

...

The goddess then delved into darker, more mysterious tales. She recounted her meetings with Persephone, discussing the joys and sorrows of the seasons, and the solemn dinners in the Underworld with Hades, where even the dead seemed to listen in awe. 

Artemis shared stories of her moonless meetings at crossroads with Hecate, a goddess known today as the patron of witchcraft. The two were surrounded by Hecate's barking hounds.

She emphasized that dogs have a profound connection with Hecate, symbolizing her dominion over death, the night and the unseen. 

These immortal dogs were not just her companions, but her heralds, signaling Hecate’s arrival with their bone-chilling howls.

There were times, she said, when she and Hecate became one, times when they merged and became indistinguishable.

Artemis elaborated, saying that the two would invite their sister, Selene, the moon, to join them. When the three women merged, their power was magnified. 

“We called ourselves the Triple Goddess,” she said. “We represented women in their youth, as mothers and as crones.”

Artemis shifted her tone. She noted that her interactions with the mortal realm were not without intrigue. 

She spoke of Jason’s wife, Medea, whose magical powers she had witnessed, and of Circe, whose island was a place of transformation.

“Circe’s island crawled with wild animals like lions and leopards,” she said. “Each had once been a man, a traveler who had washed up on her shores.”

She shared how she and Athena had watched Odysseus on his perilous 10-year journey home after the fall of Troy, her arrows lighting his path through countless dangers.

…

She told of her relationship with Aphrodite, the goddess of love, beauty and procreation. 

There was a long pause as the tea cup seemed to hesitate, then it began to move again. Artemis slowly explained their dynamic.

“I am associated with chastity and the protection of young women, particularly those on the cusp of marriage.

“My life and my followers are dedicated to the wildlands and independence from romantic entanglements.

“Aphrodite, on the other hand, governs love, sexual desire and marriage. She encourages love affairs and relationships, promoting the very aspects of life that I shun.”

Again the tea cup paused, then Artemis continued. “Our domains naturally put us at odds. Our followers represent opposing lifestyles and ideals.

“Once we clashed over a young man named Hippolytus. He was one of my devotees and rejected love and marriage, which offended Aphrodite. 

“In her anger she caused Phaedra, Hippolytus's stepmother, to fall in love with him, leading to his tragic death. Aphrodite's trickery and its aftermath shocked the other gods” …

The fire was nearly out. The couple could hear the wind outside. Temperatures were dropping, but one doesn’t interrupt a goddess to add another log. 

The board fell silent, but Garner wanted more. “Can you tell us about Dionysus?” he asked.

Artemis replied, “We’re both children of Zeus, but with different mothers. We are opposites.

“No one would call Dionysus a protector of girls. How could they? He’s the god of wine, theater and ecstasy.

“My half-brother represents indulgence. Still, we have things in common. He also favors the untamed aspects of nature.”

She continued, the tea cup speeding from letter to letter. “I am fond of him. He’s so misunderstood. And at times our domains touch in interesting ways. 

“For instance, we both had festivals. Mine often revolved around rites of passage for young women, while his were known for their revelry and dramatic performances.”

The tea cup rocked, almost as if she were laughing. She said, “I think back to when his Maenads and my Amazons interacted.

“You know about the Maenads?” she asked. We both nodded. They were the female followers of Dionysus, known for their ecstatic and frenzied worship. 

“Yes,” she said, “My Amazons were fierce, independent warriors connected to the natural world through hunting and battle.

“Both our followers are wild and uncontrolled during rituals—sometimes even at the same location, like at Ephesus.

“I wouldn’t call it a collaboration, but we tolerated each other. I can still see my Amazons linking arms with his drunken Maenads.

“And I should not neglect to say that my brother sometimes fought alongside my Amazons, such as during his crazy campaign in India ...

“Let’s leave it that we’re both frequently found in nature—and that we are attentive to the human condition.”

...

Breaking the sudden silence, Garner asked respectfully, “Your brother Apollo founded Delphi, giving home to the famous Oracle. Can you tell us anything about the Pythia?”

Our tea cup quickly pointed to YES. 

“The Pythia,” Artemis said, “was a long succession of women. One followed another. I never knew who I’d find.

“But Apollo empowered them. He gave them insight and prophesy. Not one of them ever got tongue-tied. And most amazing, no prophesy was ever wrong. 

“Every hero made his pilgrimage to Delphi. Every query was addressed by whatever young woman was on duty.

“I always thought of them as the ‘Oracle of the Day.’ Yet their performances were quite compelling. 

“I would occasionally watch from the shadows as the prophesies were barked out in that high little voice the Pythias favored.

“However I may mock them, his sacred spot prevailed for more than a thousand years. 

“Like Dionysus, Apollo loved drama, and his oracles certainly fit the bill. It was a shame when the barbarians finally shut it down—”

She went quiet. Garner thanked the goddess and the cup shook slightly. The couple wondered if the session was over.

“What about Athena?” Garner asked, wondering if he had asked too many questions.

The cup began to spell words again. Apparently the session had not ended.

“As you know, Athena is the goddess of wisdom, warfare and a fierce advocate of justice.

“She is famous for her strategic thinking in battle. Although I prefer practical hunting garb, Athena likes full armor, helmets, and is almost always found with her owl, which she says whispers wisdom in her ear. 

“She naturally associated with heroes like Odysseus and Perseus.”

Garner said, “There is such emphasis on virginity in the old stories. Wasn’t Athena part of that?”

Artemis replied, “Including Hestia there are three of us. Zeus liked to say that virginity signifies our independence from male gods.

“I like to say that virginity guarantees that we can focus on our respective domains without the distractions of romantic relationships.”

She went on, “While I specifically protect women in childbirth and during their youth, Athena offers her protection to women in various societal roles or in battle.

“We complement each other, particularly in instances where both strategy and raw skill are needed.

“Our interactions rarely conflict. As virgin goddesses and protectors of human life, we avoid the passion and complications of poor Aphrodite and Dionysus …”

…

“And what about the sea-god, Poseidon?” Garner asked, pushing his luck.

The cup paused. The night had grown long, but the couple was loath to leave Artemis’ presence.

As before, the cup began to move. “Poseidon,” she spoke, “He is so much more than just the god of the seas. He’s responsible for earthquakes, storms and even horses. 

“He is known for his unpredictable and violent nature. Once we contended over who owned the sacred grove at Brauron in Attica. 

“I had established a sanctuary for young girls from the best families in Athens. They would come in the summers to run wild. They were my little bears—

“But I’d chosen a place beside the ocean, and Poseidon sent a giant wave to wash away my temple. 

“I had to put up a huge stone wall. It was stupid on his part. The temple was no threat to him. We almost came to blows, but Athena intervened and reason prevailed ...

“There was another conflict. That one involved his twin sons, Otus and Ephialtes. They were giants and once attempted to storm Mount Olympus. 

“They planned to abduct me and Hera. I have no idea why. It seemed so bizarre, but there they were, scaling the foothills as fast as mountain lions being chased by wasps.

“We managed to outwit them.”

The cup whirled in amusement around the board. Then it slowed and returned to spelling words.

“Poseidon and I are both connected to the natural world. Since that Brauron incident, we negotiate boundaries.

“He’s a crusty, willful character. I have my nymphs as followers and he’s almost always surrounded by slick and shiny dolphins. I think I have the better deal …”

...

Garner asked, “What of Ares and Hermes?”

She responded, “Oh, you tuned into them in your novels! I cannot do better. Hermes lives on. Ares, as you well know, met his fate one afternoon in France.

“Let’s not discuss it,” she said. “Your readers can discover the gruesome details …“

As if in conclusion, the conversation turned to the gods' place in the modern world. Artemis quickly explained how the divine had evolved, and what they are today. 

"We no longer demand worship. Human society has changed, and so have we. 

“We seek other paths now, other ways to find meaning in our immortality." 

She spoke of how the gods had found new pleasures, new roles, perhaps even new realms beyond human comprehension.

The session ended as the tea cup handle moved to the word GOODBYE on the bottom of the board. Our connection was severed ...

The couple was exhausted. Clearly, the gods were not as distant as one might think. The encounter with Artemis had not just been a meeting with divinity, but a reminder of the enduring nature of these ancient gods.

The couple now understands that while the gods have stepped back from humanity, the gods may engage again in a wooded glade, on a riverbank … or over a Ouija board on a cold winter’s night. 

...

JOIN ME ... FOR ANOTHER EPISODE OF GARNER'S GREEK MYTHOLOGY. REMEMBER THAT THE WINNOWING & MY OTHER NOVELS ARE ALL AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.

VISIT PATRICK GARNER BOOKS DOT COM FOR MORE INFORMATION.

By the way, if you have YOUNGSTERS IN YOUR LIFE, THERE'S A CHILDREN'S BOOK THAT SHOULD BE ON YOUR BOOKSHELF.

IT'S CALLED READ-ALOUD STORIES FOR YOUNG LISTENERS, BY D.K. GARNER. THERE ARE NO GREEK GODS, BUT ANIMALS — ALWAYS PART OF GREEK LIFE — PLAY AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN THESE CHARMING STORIES. 

THEY TALK WITH THE CHILDREN AT THE MOMENT A LITTLE HELP IS NEEDED. Like my books, it’s available on Amazon.  

AND thanks for listening ... THIS IS your host, Patrick Garner.